Wednesday, December 29

Lookie here!

I submitted a sort of back story on our road to having an intact son and it was posted! :)
Check it out at  Do It 4 ERIC.
That's a great site doing great work by the way, look around a little while you're there!

Christmas and other goodness.

 The holidays this year are by far less exciting than last year, but nice none-the-less.
I was really looking forward to Johnny opening gifts for the first time. He wasn't so interested though. He did get some really nice (even handmade-not-by-me) toys and I got a sweet potato cook book. Chris got a saw (more on that in a minute).

He did love the traditional shipment of Chex Mix from the New Hampshire grands!

....I think that may be his 'chewing face'.

I was able to complete a project I'v been thinking of for ages! We had two old night tables that I imagined would be perfect for a mini kitchen, they are!
I picked up free white paint from the recycling center, but just about bought a can of it when I was on my fourth coat! Five was the magic number and I don't think that paint will be going anywhere any time soon. I used my friend's jigsaw to cut an oven door and epoxied all the other pieces on. There's even a batch of wooden fruit I painted and an oven mitt for him to play with. He's played with it every day and he even stirs things in the pot, which is something he never did before :)

Another handmade gift, a purse for my sister-in-law:

And I know that you in the States have been getting hammered with snow! We have been getting our fair share here, it's the worst winter since we've been living here anyway (and in a long time I believe, last winter was the worst in 25 years and this one is much harder so far.)

I hate being cooped up. Hate hate. But it is icy and a little hard to carry a 20-something pound child on your back while trying to maneuver the snow that NEVER gets plowed in your town while walking two excited dogs.
It sucks and I am going out of my mind. Johnny is not a fan of the snow as of yet since he's still gaining balance and has a hard time getting up once he's down.
My dear husband just made my life 100% better.... Remember the saw? He used it to build us a sled! I can't wait to load J up and take it for a spin (yay!! YAYYY!!!). 

Funny enough it's made from the headboard that went with the side tables above. Genius.


Tomorrow is my sister's baby shower, here's a peek:

....As you may be able to guess, I finally received the new computer charger in the mail! So I'm back on my beloved Macbook and should be posting a little more often... xo!

Saturday, December 18

Party dress.

I've been, working on a dressmaking/design class for well over a year. I started it before Johnny was born and had hoped to finish it long ago. Luckily it was self-paced so I was able to pick it back up when my motivation showed up again. The class is through Penn Foster and if you are interested in learning to sew it is well worth it! I already knew how to sew but learned an immense amount in the 22 part course. The one thing that is notably better is my confidence in "I can do that!" I'm not afraid to take on any project now, before I didn't want to ruin or waste fabric and I was always worried it wouldn't come out how I hoped, ect. Now I'll just do it :)

My final project had to be a full outfit, either a dress or a top and bottom or a suit or something. I could use a pattern but I really loved the last part of the course on design by draping (which is how most of the designers do it on Project Runway in case you're wondering) so I chose to create a dress from scratch for Tricia. She will be wearing it to her boyfriend's squadron holiday party tonight.

She needed a maternity dress, obviously, so high-waisted was a no-brainer. The style she had in mind was the Nepolionic Josephine dress with a long skirt and tight, low cut bodice. It could not be a costume per project directions so I tried to keep it simple and modern in line. I think we nailed it :)

Everything it's made of was already in my sewing closet, except the zipper. The top is taffeta from Maastricht, lined in dark green cotton (from an old sheet!). I'm not sure where the lace came from but it is hand-made, each flower delicately sewn into a mesh base. I, in turn, hand sewed it into the neckline. The skirt is made from a really pretty lightweight cotton that came from a family member.

In my opinion the good parts are the lace inset, the bias draped skirt, the rouched belt. The bad parts are the too-tight bodice that pull too much on the back darts and the lack of enough fabric for the skirt. I pieced together more blue taffeta for the gaps and it's super pretty and kind of modern, but I would have liked to have had enough to do it 'right'. The zipper is not as invisible as it should be, I will have to practice that more.

So there you have it. When she is no longer pregnant I can re-hem the front of the skirt and she can wear it for awhile :)

I'm so, so happy to be done with this program. I was afraid I wouldn't finish, that it would just be tossed to the side or I'd never find the time. I realized a few short months ago that I was trying to do too many things at once and so buckled down to finish up and move on. Not sure yet what I'm moving onto but I'll keep ya posted :)

lazy dogs, scary santa and why my husband sucks.

When all the spots in the house are covered in holiday-making fabric piles,  Nova gets creative with Johnny's bean bag! She's always been the most resourceful I've ever seen.

We took J to a kids Christmas party and of course Santa was there. We have been talking about the Santa factor and how he will fit into our family over the next few years. I was leaning towards just leaving him out for the most part and this *kind of* sealed the deal, haha!

Although, someone could use some Santa spirit around here. Yesterday this was a gift to me from Chris under the tree, and unwrapped and open box.

Johnny got ahold of it and now it's a stack of books sitting on the t.v. center next to the tree. Awesome. I love surprises.

Saturday, December 4

Some more on surprising birth feelings.

I just found a blog about the aftermath of c-sections. I wasn't looking for it, but I needed it.
Here's a quick quote..

"...birth by cesarean is an emotional experience, not just a medical procedure.Women’s experience and perceptions of their birth may have very negative consequences despite good medical outcomes."

"The women who had an assisted delivery and those who gave birth by cesarean were much more disappointed. Although five years had passed since they gave birth, these mothers expressed dominant feelings of fear and anxiety about their experience and were more reluctant to become pregnant again"

It's good to know I'm not alone or crazy or just feeling sorry for myself.

The emotional scars of cesarean birth.

It does state that some women heal wonderfully and some don't. Guess I'm a don't and I'm in awe of you ladies who do.

I never even thought I was feeling depressed. I've battled with depression for years and what I was feeling wasn't the same. Looking back it's all pretty clear. I was afraid to leave the house most of the time, even to go grocery shopping- my dad was visiting over Christmas and we hardly did a thing. It was cold but, really, that was just an excuse. J was nearly three months old in January when  Dad left and there was no reason for me to be so wrapped up in anxiety.

I suppose I could chalk that up to being a new mother but a lot of times it really felt like more than that. And feelings resurfacing like this now make it clear that there were some issues then. I had a wonderful midwife who talked me through every moment of uncertainty and cloudiness before I even knew they were there. I was very lucky. I do feel like that part has long passed and I am not afraid to take this kid anywhere or do anything, so there's that.

Yesterday I saw my midwife (she's been attending to my sister) and today at dinner we saw the doctor who attended to me my entire pregnancy. I didn't even want to talk to him and was hoping he didn't recognize me. I didn't want him to ask a question about our planned home birth, I couldn't bear to explain it. I slipped out while my friend talked to him, he remembered her and her little girl and was of course very pleasant (because he is, I always liked him).

Our midwife is still a steady point and I'm so thankful she is coming around. Somehow it's healing to recall that she was involved and encouraged the best for us.

Sorry for all the down-in-the-dumps talk, it'll pass. It's really nice to have this outlet and it's probably saving me a trip to the therapist. ;-> I guess I'd like to learn more about healing from this unexpected wave of emotions. If anyone has any resources to share I'd be happy to take a look!

*PLEASE excuse my spelling. My macbook is still out of comission and somehow my husband's spell check is set to German! So it just popped up with almost all my words misspelled, haha! Now you know how bad of a speller I really am!